This is my story for week 1 of the art101 challenge. If you have any questions about supplies or techniques, I’ll be happy to answer in the comments.
Written in my journal on June 2, 2014:
Embracing vulnerability versus productivity and achievement
If I were profit/sales/achievement driven, I probably shouldn’t share all the imperfections, all the playful practice, mistakes, etc, but the main reasons for attempting to sell my creations are to help support my family financially and hopefully touch the recipients in some positive way (smile, inspiration, prayer, encouragement, communion). The reasons for sharing both the good and not so good are to be open, real, inspiring, and encouraging, even if my inner critic wonders if others might think, “I could do that and even better” or “my 5 year old could make that!” I want to share the joy of creating without a filter and self judgement. I want to move past the critic in my head and all the imagined reactions, letting go of the misplaced responsibility for reactions versus action, choosing acceptance of self with raw edges and all. I remember reading a book called “Beautiful Oops” (by Barney Saltzberg) with my children a few years ago and I want to focus on the message that what at first appears to be a mistake can be turned into something lovely and to embrace the creative process. I want to ignore the art scars and encourage others do the same and appreciate all creative beings.
“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” – Pablo Picasso
I want to free myself from expectations, media, perfectionism, worries, doubt; to open my mind, hands, and heart to being worthy and enough as I am and passing on the joy of creating for the sake of creating! Enjoying the process beyond and before the product, noticing the joy of play and the journey, discovery, and exploration, the joy of singing. 🙂 Ignoring the critic and presumption that others will mutter, “who does she think she is?” I am just one of us, a seeker, dreamer, lover, child of the universe.
Day 1, June 1st: Rough and busy day! After having company for a week, needed to catch up on homestead chores, such as tending to chicken coop, weeding garden, picking peas, installing new drip hose for garden, doing laundry, fixing fence, etc. Put in a long day working outside and while cleaning up, had a ridiculous accident… an action that belongs on the 3 stooges or Tom and Jerry cartoon (my kids later informed me it happened in one of the Home Alone movies)! Don’t laugh too hard… it is much funnier in the movies than when it actually happens. I was putting stuff away in the barn when I got a huge shock… I accidentally stepped on the bottom of a garden hoe while walking by and it banged me in the face and even bounced back and hit me more than once!! I stumbled down to the house in a daze, hoping that I didn’t have any loose teeth, with the taste of blood in my mouth… YOW!! I can’t believe this just happened… how ridiculous! I stopped the bleeding and held ice on my face from my jaw to my temple, while trying not to pass out and with an awful, throbbing, pounding head. I guess this is what it feels like to get sucker punched right in the face… ouch! After a long while with the ice and laying down so I didn’t fall down if I passed out, I managed to take a shower and call it quits for the day… EXCEPT, that this is day 1 of the art 101 challenge and I am determined to participate. I suppose I could call gardening my playful, creative act for the day, but that feels like cheating. I manage to sit down on the back porch after the kids are in bed and doodle in one of their notebooks… “Breathe deep, choose joy”… a fitting reminder to self at the end of this crazy day. I tried out all the markers I recently purchased on clearance to see that they work. Then, I think about how amateurish and childish my day 1 creation is… nothing like I had imagined. Yet, the 10 or 15 minutes I spent creating and playing with my new markers brought a kind of peace and joy to my heart and soul. This is why I choose to create. This is why I made a commitment to creatively play everyday. It feels good… even if I don’t think the end result/product is anything special, the time spent making it surely was and the message to self and the joy it brings is worth the effort.
Day 2 – June 2, 2014: Completed the project I had intended for the kick-off on day 1, which is a tribute to Maya Angelou. I had started it before she passed away last week. I had drawn the bird, free hand and from my imagination, something I feel very insecure about trying since I’ve never been encouraged to draw, nor felt that I could. I am trying to listen to my own advice, that which I tell my children about drawing… that we can all draw! Look at the cave drawings from ancient times and know that if we can communicate with the universal language of drawing, we can draw. We don’t have to all excel at realistic renderings of people and landscapes to draw and communicate. I decide I quite like my interesting little bird. 🙂 I made a nest with scrap pieces of thread from other sewing projects and used a twig from our rosemary bush for the branch holding the nest (which happens to be the herb of remembrance I think!). I had done that much a week ago so that now I only needed to add one of my all time favorite quotes and a border and call it done. I think I will actually frame it and hang it in my home. It reminds me to “sing” (which I interpret as create and live) just because I am and I can, regardless of any “answers” or product or talent or practical purpose.
I also prepped some postcard (4×6 inch) size backgrounds with paint and gesso to use over the coming days and did the house challenge for DLP (Documented Life Project) week 22 with the song “Happy” in my head by Pharrell. I opened to random dictionary pages to choose words for the windows… an invitation to the divine mystery to come join me and guide me. The entire time I was working on the page, I thought the song said, “if you feel like a house without a roof” until I was about finished and looked up the lyrics to add to the page. It actually says room without a roof. O’well… I’m still happy. 🙂
Day 3 – June 3, 2014: Headed to Tennessee to help my brother’s family while my sister-in-law is on bed rest with her third pregnancy. She is not allowed to pick up her 18 month old twin girls, nor walk up and down the stairs, nor pick up anything over 5 pounds, due to the internal bleeding that needs to heal for both her sake and the baby the inside. I have left my 9 year old twins at home with my husband (who works from home, though with a very demanding job as a computer consultant and programmer) so I can focus on my nieces right now. Thankfully, my 8 year old niece is an amazing big sister and great help with the little ones and farm chores. I packed a bag of art supplies for my older niece and I to play with when the babies are napping. She had been asking me on past visits how I made the wooden signs that a friend sells at a local country store and I have several of hanging in my home so I brought the one piece of wood I could find already cut and sanded to show her. We had a great time making a sign together while I introduced her to mod podge and showed her how I sponge and finger paint and collage and put it all together. 🙂 She chose the words, “joy to the world” from several I suggested when she asked for ideas. It was fun to collaborate with her and encourage her. It surprised me how much attention she gave to detail and “mistakes” already at the age 8 after just finishing 2nd grade, and I wonder if I had already begun to doubt my artistic talent at that age and give up due to the criticism of my creations, the same way she is criticizing and doubting herself already and so concerned about my opinion and advice. I try to encourage her to trust the process and have fun and play and to trust herself and flow with the seeming goofs and embrace the beauty. My mom (her Grammie) once told me that the flaws in a blanket I was crocheting for a friend’s baby made it that much more special because it was handmade with love. I wish I had remembered to say that to my niece at the time and intend to make a point to share these loving, wise words with her soon. That night after all the babies and others were asleep, I made my way to my bed in the basement and thought about what I was going to do for my art 101 challenge for the day. Duh! Why did I think I needed to come up with something else? I had very much kept my commitment to creatively “play everday” as I collaborated with and taught my niece earlier that day! However, the drill sergeant in me didn’t realize that at the time and I made a quick, simple bookmark before crashing for the night. (I forgot to take a picture of the one we made together, but I’m including a picture of the ones I’ve made in the past for example)
Day 4, June 4, 2014: Yay! My niece and I managed to fit in some more art play time while her baby sisters napped. We made funky, decorated trees and angels. I drove home late that foggy night and decided when I finally walked in my house that the play with her was going to “count” for my art 101 commitment for the day! The idea for the tree came from my teachers, Kristin Steiner and Susan Edmonson from the “Field Guide to Creativity” class at John Campbell Folk School. The idea for the stick fairy came from a classmate there that adapted and combined the teachers’ ideas of a stick tree and spoon fairy. My niece wanted them to be angels so angel it is.
Day 5, June 5, 2014: The word “Open” has been on my mind lately. I listened to “Desire Map” by Danielle La Porte on the drive to and from the airport to pick up my friend last week and to TN this week and started listening to the “Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer on the way back from TN (3 hour drive each way). I had many chores to catch up on again and decided that just using a previously prepared background and focusing on the word, “Open” would be enough for the day’s art 101 commitment. I also wrote a poem just before bed to go with it.
Open
Let the heart be open
crack open
burst open
be open
Let the lovely light shine
Let the energy flow
generously in and out
connecting
all that is
in love
Let the splendor of life
overflow, overwhelm, fulfill
Let joy reign
Open to the beauty of now
Let love be
Live Open
I also chose to focus on the desire map feelings I have been thinking about before drifting off to sleep.
Be Free * Be Joy * Be Open * Be Love * Be Inspiration * Be Encouragement * Be Harmonious * Be Enough
Feel Free * Feel Joy * Feel Open * Feel Love * Feel Inspiration * Feel Encouragement * Feel Harmonious * Feel Enough
And I noticed the difference in how my body responds to the command to “be” versus to “feel” and how the latter is less stressful and more relaxing… and my heart opens.
Day 6, June 6, 2014: I’ve had to remind myself multiple times that the commitment I made was to PLAY everyday versus finish artwork… especially when deciding whether I could “count” the tree and angel I made with my niece even though I didn’t get to finish on the same day we started them because I was rocking a baby in my lap ( the baby ended up with glitter all over her from the glitter fabric we were using!). Playing with my niece reminded and inspired me to facilitate/guide/teach others with art across ages, hopefully, intergenerational within families and communities (especially since many kids are far from grandparents, aunts, etc). I was reminded of the whisper in my heart to facilitate some type of local art journaling group, perhaps at the library, or art travel retreat someday. I named the voice/critic in my head “Kudzu” on my way home from TN because it goes all over the place and tries to cover and hide my ideas and creations. Listening to the “Desire Map” and “Untethered Soul” inspired the poems/writing from yesterday and word cards made today.
The originals of some of these postcards have actual pressed flowers. I love to incorporate and honor nature in my art, as well as recycle (mail, packaging, etc). These postcards are made out of repurposed cereal boxes. I also try to use my own handwriting often, which requires courage and trust in the process (especially when nearly finished with something and I think I could mess it all up with my handwriting!), but it makes it more personal. I also love to incorporate serendipity into my creations with “found words”. I cut/tear words from dictionaries, books, magazines, music, etc to use later in creations and save the collected/found words. Today the word “thrive” found me. 🙂 The time I spend playing with art supplies (I call my space in the basement my playroom versus studio and my son calls it art land) is my form of meditation and prayer… for self, for others, for Earth and the universe, for all who encounter my creations/work/play, for YOU while you are reading this… may we thrive together in harmony.
Day 7, June 7, 2014: Grateful to have time to play again and to be wrapping up the first week of the art 101 challenge.
So much serendipity in the past few days as various definitions, words, ideas, and song lyrics have found their way into the postcards. 🙂 Without a plan, I sat down to play/create and let the found words and supplies guide me. I notice the difference if creating solely for self, without any intention to share with another, versus the courage and faith needed to create knowing it may be seen, which requires vulnerability, openness, and trust in the creative dance with the divine. I try to just be myself anyway, in spite of facing judgement and criticism… try to stay free and follow the heart and forget about talent comparisons. It is also challenging to think about putting a price tag on the energy that goes into it all, which really can’t be done, so I do my best to evaluate worth/value based on time or materials or what someone might pay or less because I want it out there (such as art abandonment project, uploading photos, etc). What are the love, prayers, and energy worth? Again, I’m reminding myself that my personal goal wasn’t to “finish” (or make sellable) artwork everyday, but to PLAY everyday. It’s been a fun and encouraging week! 🙂
Below is a list of the artists participating in the 101 challenge. Click the links to check out their art! Stephanie @ Two Raggy Doodles Iris @ Iris Impressions Art Terri @ Terri Churchill Cherilyn @ Cherilyn Clough Kimberly @ Kimberly Lastinger Studio Juna @ Juna Biagioni Art Rachelle @ Wild Sun Studio Ashlie @ The Beautiful Occupation Kim @ Art & Cupcakes Carla @ Carla’s Crea Corner Lucy @ Art By Lucy Brydon Deezy @ Deezy Art Sue @ ARTful Inspirations by Sue Julia @ Loving Road Rita @ Rita Seed Kim @ Expressatory Joni @ Studio Lulu Designs Barbara @ Barbara Harvie Studio Lynette @ Lynette Cretu Art & Design Kathy @ Kathy Jurek Art & Illustration Susanne @ Susanne Leusman- Mixed Media Artist Lynda @ Lynda wants to be an artist Vivienne @ Enjoy Art Rachel @ Rachel Mense Design & Illustration Petra @ Miss Petra’s Mixed Media Art en Art Journaling Debbie @ Three Owls Mosaic Art Wendy @ Wendy High Studios Jaybird @ Painted Jaybird Robyn @ Faith Miner’s Daughter
Stephanie Cant
Lovely blog! I love that you have chosen to play everyday instead of finishing a piece of art. Glad to have you in the group!
painted jaybird
Wow, you’ve been so busy! I loved seeing your work. Nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw your Maya Angelou tribute Bird. Your niece is blessed to have you (as is your sis in law!), love your angel & the book marks! So much love! So much love! Thank you!
painted jaybird
Oh you’ve been so busy! Just loved your tribute to Maya Angelou Bird, your bookmarks & the Angel! Divine! I loved too, your servant heart, your honesty & your handwriting. So much love!
Expressatory
Julia, I love this post and all of your beautiful art pieces! You have had a busy week! I hope your face is feeling better…ouch, that sounded super painful. I would love to see you consider taking out your first phrase, “I don’t know if anyone will even read it or have interest…” Don’t sell yourself short. You are wonderful and beautiful and amazing and I WAS interested in reading it! 😉
lovingrd
Wow! Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and the sweet comments… my heart is bursting with gratitude and joy! You’ve convinced me (Expressatory)… made edit to intro. 🙂 Thanks again for reading!
PS – My favorite of the week’s creations is the very last one finished today. I knew I wanted it to say love sweet love, but it needed something else on the bottom. I found a scrap piece of sheet music with the lyrics “and wild imaginings”. YES! I love how it goes together, “what the world needs now is love sweet love… and wild imaginings”. Really felt in the flow as scraps with just the right words found me at the right time… such as the “soul” music for the angel. Playing/Dancing with the divine?! 🙂 xoxo
carlapersoon2014
Loved reading your long blog and see all your creations. A good start with al the colorfull little projects. Recognize a lot in what you write. Many of us have the same hopes and dreams