Wow, what a morning… if it’s possible to have a conversation with spirits through song lyrics, that might be what happened to me this morning. I don’t know what happened! Yet, this is what happened…
After my usual morning routine and quite a bit of journaling from restless night, I went to the basement to paint. I put Pandora on my phone and changed the station to my beloved MaMuse… here’s a peek into my journal as I tried to capture the experience in between brush strokes:
As I sat down, the first words I heard were, “I’m right here with you” from the Constellations song by MaMuse. Oh, I FELT my Mom and the floodgates opened… tears flowed… Oh, how I miss you, Momma! I said, “I wish you were here in a way that I could feel & see & hear.” Yet, I realized that maybe she was/is! I wished I could reach out and touch her. I may have even tried.
The song continued “in case you needed to know if I was here, I’m right here with you” and reminded me, “we’re of the same constellation.” Surprisingly, I don’t think I had actually heard this particular song by MaMuse before even though I have purchased a few of their albums. Time to add this one to my collection! The next song I noticed (while still crying) was singing about “spreading joy over this land.”
I imagine friends that have experienced a similar kind of love and grief might understand. I miss my mom so and would love to share my art and new inspiration cards with her in a way that I can understand. I’ve thought of her so much while making them. It would’ve been a great collaboration project to do together (she was way better with computer graphics/design than I am!).
Yikes! Now, a song says, “a little more crying… a few more tears!” and “don’t want to wait for heaven” from ‘Easy in the Early’ by Uncle Earl. Then, “Wading Deep Waters” by Crooked Still came on and I thought to add it to the song playlist for the “HOME” card from the Soul Songs deck. That particular card makes me think of my mom still. I’m hoping and praying that she is free of the painful parts of love, grief, etc… that she is dancing in peaceful joy at Home.
Oh, my goodness grief! The next song title is ‘Heaven when we’re Home’ by the Wailin’ Jennys… right after I was just thinking about Mom being at home in heaven. Yet, I didn’t write those last 2 words as I was wondering about them. Then, that song came on! The title of the painting on the card below is even called ‘Twilight in Shangri-La.’
Makes me think of another song, “No More Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton, which our acquaintance, Frank Carmelitano, played as a dedication for my mom when he found out that she had died. We were at brunch (where he plays live music on Sunday mornings, except for the Sunday morning that he played at my wedding instead 🙂 ). Tears are flowing again and my vision is blurry.
I’ve been sitting in front of sketch from last night that reminds me of women in hooded cloaks/robes with babes on their shoulders/heads. I had already added some text notes last night about a different painting… and started adding more text this morning from the songs and this experience.
Then, “Turning Wake” came on about ‘Burning Hope’ AFTER I had just lit a candle for my mom (like I learned to do in Catholic churches from my Grandmother and my Dad). I had even poured some of the wax from the candle onto the painting while trying to get the candle to light.
Oh, my! It just said something about ‘rose upon the shoulders’ and ‘raising candles to the sky’ and stars and wonder. I have very similar image right in front of me! I sketched it after my shower last night. The song continues… “Give What You Are” and about “Dancing with ones that remind me… we are born of ancient dust… made of ancient songs/soil?” I’m loving the message and feeling like the ancient ones in the painting are speaking/singing to me.
Then, ‘Patience’ by Redbird comes on followed by one of my favorites, “Glorious” by MaMuse. I take the phone upstairs to listen to the rest of it before taking a break. The last words I heard were, “Never fear the birds are singing even endings can be sweet… oh, what a day.” I turned off Pandora and went to the kitchen. I looked out the window to see a bird looking right at me from a few feet away in the butterfly bush.
I had lunch and thought about the book I’m writing, sharing stories, and the course idea I’ve been having about “Collective Voice.” I walked downstairs, turned the music back on, and the first song was “One Voice!”
Wow! What a morning! I told Nathan (my husband) when he came down from work/office for lunch that if spirits can have a conversation through Pandora, it seems to be happening to me.
I say out loud as sit back down to the painting, “I’m listening! Got my attention!” I think about Mom telling me that I started singing before I started talking as a toddler.
Then, a song came on about LISTENING! It was “Waves” by Ayla Nereo. The next song continues… “Do you wonder why we live and die… dance and fall… Do you wonder these at all?” Please ‘Tell Me True’ by Sarah Jarosz. The ‘conversation’ continues as I’m painting with “I’ll fly away” by Alison Krauss, “Moon Song” by MaMuse, “Storm Comin” singing about ‘letting love through the door’ and ‘let the storm wash away’ and then, “Rocks and Water” version by Bill Evans & Megan Lynch… suggesting to ‘wrap the night around your shoulders.’ I’m dancing with the mother muses in the painting and singing along.
Next up: “Ring Aruond the Moon” by Elephant Revival. I have a fresh interpretation of the lyrics this time. Ring around the moon => Circle of women/people, Seasons Changing => change of cultural balance (masculine/feminine in harmony), a peaceful, powerful change. Hear them singing about inner scanning/exploration/light, intuition, trust.
The words ‘give what you are’ that I had written near the bottom of the painting have evolved into ‘be what you are’ and then to ‘Live what you are.’ The other text in the painting has faded into the message, ‘we are with you.’
The next song comes on, ‘It Ain’t Easy.’ Did it just say, “it ain’t easy leaving you?”
I’m finishing up the painting as the last few songs play. “Desert Lullaby” saying, “I’ll sing you a desert lullaby… I will raise up to the night sky… I will sing this song…. back on solid ground.” Am I back on solid ground? It moves on to “The Parting Glass” by Wailin’ Jennys… wow, again, at the timeliness of the lyrics! It finishes with, “I’ll gently rise and I’ll softly call good night and joy be with you all.”
I take some pictures of the painting and gather my journal with all of these scribbled notes and lyrics. What a painting experience! What just happened?
This is so NOT what I was intending to share today! I had written earlier this morning about the thoughts and story I was going to share. It was about the Focus and Perspective paintings/cards from new decks based on experience with my son as he got his new glasses yesterday. Maybe I’ll save that for another day. This is what happened today, which still has to do with perspectives.
I wonder if anyone else would see any of that in the painting or if it just looks like some random shapes and colors? Do you see what I see… do you hear what I hear? I had heard most of these songs before, yet this was entirely different experience.
This is what can happen if/when we lean in to the creative process, for the process itself, and see what happens. Have you ever had a similar experience to this? I’d love to hear about it in the comments. Do you ever find yourself collaborating with the music when painting? Singing along while driving and wondering at the synchronicity of a particular song at a particular time? Do you notice the soundtracks that play in your head? If music reaches into your head and heart this way, you may enjoy the new Soul Songs inspiration card deck. I’m currently giving away a deck if you’d like to enter! You can find out how in prior blog post at thrivetrue.com/messenger.
Whatever happens to you today, May you feel Alive and Loved. ♡
Here are the playlists from this painting if you’d like to listen (the first one wasn’t available on spotify):
The inspiration card decks are now available for pre-order special sale prices through Sept. 30th, 2017 in the gift shop (no coupon code needed). These might make great gifts if you want to take advantage of the pre-order special now for gifts later. 🙂
I’ve set up a special mailing list for blog posts if you’d like to receive these via email when they are published (I won’t send duplicate emails if sending a Heart to Heart email around the same time as blog post).
May we find joy in the bittersweet art of living and loving. Please feel free to use the sharing buttons below if you know someone that might enjoy the art, blog, give-aways and other offerings. ♡