One of my words/focuses for this year was “connect” (I couldn’t choose just one… a recurring thing for me!). After moving to a different town, where we had no roots, homeschooling and working from home, my family has been a bit isolated of late (think hill top monastery!). Thankfully, with the experience of a local class, a couple of facebook groups joined recently, a few new friends and a few amazing old friends and family, connection is slowly being nurtured. Yet, as the year unfolds, I find that what’s really tugging on my heart is the issue of “trust”.
I’ve had trust issues for many years and not without good reasons (from childhood wounds I’m not yet ready to discuss in such a public way to having my home broken into twice and much in between). My previous blog did not even have my name associated with it! I fell into a somewhat protective and fear based place and felt the need to hide in some ways as a result. So opening my heart and soul up on a blog like this is quite a change for me!
Thanks to encouraging books, groups, authors and a few dear friends and family, I am attempting to embrace the vulnerability (Brene Brown’s work) and let myself be seen. I’m realizing that in order to truly connect, this “being seen”, along with trust, is necessary. The country song (and I don’t even listen to a ton of country music!), “walk softly on this heart of mine” just popped into my head. I think, “Dare I admit that?” I re-read the previous sentence about being seen, which also means being genuine and honest, and I decide to leave it, though not without thought that there really is such a thing as too much information! 😉 My goal with this blog will be to foster trust, connection, vulnerability, and living whole-heartedly while not going overboard with too much (often mundane) information.
I started PASiton, which has evolved into Loving Rd., as a way to honor my mom’s memory and also, because, to my surprise, I found that creative play and art were the best therapy when faced with a broken, grieving heart. Over the last few years, I’ve given a lot of thought to the state of affairs in the world and in my own heart and wondered how to be a positive light for my children, myself, and others. The ideas I’ve come to over and over are “to love and inspire”. These have become my “guideposts” so to speak, the questions I ask myself with my behavior. Am I doing this from a place of love (versus fear)? Can I inspire others to live more from a place of love (versus fear)?
When I’m playing with art supplies, I try to stay focused on loving, positive energy and if I start to get frustrated, I start singing uplifting songs to shift the thought (even if it’s just “what the world needs now is love, sweet love”) because I want to put positive energy into all that I create, even if there is a melancholy kind of joy to it, acknowledging the bitter and the sweet sides of life. Many of my favorite quotes and songs do just that, acknowledge the dark and the light, but with an emphasis on choosing gratitude and love over fear, envy, guilt or pity. My old personal blog (which I have finally added my name to instead of just a screen name of sorts) has pages devoted to these quotes, songs, and several inspirational books (I’ve switched to this blog to have consistency with the name, Loving Rd and will eventually get most of the content moved over here, but for now, you can access the favorite bits of inspiration mentioned from the other site at: tendingthegardens.blogspot.com). It does matter what kind of soul food we take in!
When I think about what makes me most come alive, it’s learning, exploring, creating, and loving (people and nature!). These are the ways I want to focus my time. When I think about how I want to feel (thanks to Danielle LaPorte for the emphasis on feeling versus doing), I want to feel encouraging, inspirational, generous, kind, healthy, playful, creative, and loving. When I get lost in the creative process, I play, learn, try to trust, and to focus on well wishes for the people that will encounter my creations in some way (most would call this prayer or meditation, I suppose).
When I look at something I’ve created and think it appears childish, I have decided to embrace the child within that wants to come out and play and I start to feel a little younger and reclaim some of the innocence lost along the way. I sincerely hope that sharing this journey through this blog will inspire others to play more, trust more, connect more, love more, and live more in the time, place, body, and circumstances we find ourselves. As many wise teachers have instructed throughout time, “Love is the way.” Welcome to Loving Rd.
As a way of “spreading the love”, I’m participating in this awesome project by Tamara Laporte and want to let others know about it as well: http://bit.ly/rainbowmermaid . Tamara made a music video and created an online art lesson specifically to raise money to buy water for those who do not have enough clean water to support their health and wellness in other countries. Any donation (no set amount) is appreciated and the music download and art lesson are thank you gifts from Tamara. As a water baby, I am drawn to the water’s edge often and very much appreciate the peace that being near the water can bring to a soul (I even made my own little zen pond in our front yard!). We spent quite a bit of money to get a well put in for our home and I am so grateful for the pure water that we have as a result. I do not know Tamara and just learned of her today, May 1, 2014 through another blog that I read with a link to her water project. I just think it’s a great thing she’s doing and want to spread the word… and the love!
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