Breathing in trust – Art 101 Week 9.5

Do you know the song “Breathe” by Faith Hill?  I’ve had my own version in my head this week to that tune… singing and repeating “Just trust” as I play in my art room (really the basement!).

The word/idea/concept of “trust” is something I’ve struggled with since I can remember.  It is not one of the words I chose to focus on this year, but it seems to be part of the words I did choose; “sacred” and “connect”.  I chose “sacred” as a reminder to focus on the sacred in everything instead of being scared… which requires a lot of trust!  I don’t even know why I chose “connect”, but it also requires an enormous amount of trust to really connect…. with myself, other people, nature, and the divine.  The act of writing and maintaining this blog has been a huge exercise in trust!  Putting my art, heart, and thoughts out there for anyone to see, judge, criticize, ignore, applaud, etc.  The way my art has evolved over the course of the past few years, and especially, within the past few weeks of the art 101 challenge, has sparked a special kind of trust (and dance of sorts) with the creative process.

As I mentioned in a recent post, I avoided drawing girls (and drawing anything!) until very recently.  I have played with so many other artistic methods and materials while maintaining a fear and hesitation toward drawing.  I had it stuck in my head that I didn’t have “talent” when it comes to drawing (since sometime in childhood).  Ironically, I have tried to encourage my kids to draw, especially when they critique their results, reminding them of cave drawings and stating that, “if you can communicate something with your drawing, then you can indeed draw!”  I obviously need to take my own advice in this matter!  Somewhere, I came across the information that Picasso felt if something had eyes, a nose, and a mouth, it was a face (even if those eyes were square!).  Hence, I keep focusing on “trust”… trusting that what starts out looking awkward or incorrect or ugly will emerge into something worth doing and sharing.  Sometimes, it is the emotion, contemplation, healing, growth or lesson in the process that might make it worth it and sometimes it might be the end results or both.

Here are some of the pieces I’ve been working on this week, repeating “trust” over and over as I let go of my expectations about them and attempt to trust the process (and perhaps a divine connection?!) to lead the way.  I am often quite surprised by the results, and honestly, sometimes forget and try to force or avoid a particular color/idea/etc, that ends up teaching me a lesson in trust again and again!

This confident girl full of life and love was inspired by and is dedicated to my friend, Kane, who had a birthday this past weekend.  I feel so blessed and lucky to have her as a true, forever friend. Kane is an amazing woman and friend and was my backpacking buddy across Europe many moons ago. 😉 Those were days I’ll never forget! <3

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I’m also working on another birthday girl.  I really wish I could show you how far she has come from this early beginning pictured below!  This has been a great example of trusting the process.  However, I’ll have to wait to post the beauty she has become until after I give her to the recipient (who might read this).

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This next one was inspired by a “phoenix” hair style and color I saw my friend, Deborah, post weeks ago (she is an artist whose canvas is hair!).

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I’ve also been wanting to add feathers from our chickens (none of which have been harmed by us in the collection of these feathers!  Some chickens go through a process of shedding feathers and growing new ones in the fall).

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After adding the feathers, I thought I might darken her skin to be more similar to southern native American tones, but she wanted to stay pale and stark and ended up reminding me of a beautiful Inuit girl I met last summer.

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The zen girl from last week has been evolving as well.  I did the symbols by hand on separate paper, due to the rough texture from the actual dirt and rocks that I used on the original painting.  Then, I scanned the symbols to add with photoshop.  I have since added even more texture to the original and will have to edit again.

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Finally investing the time, effort, and money to create, print and offer postcards in the Loving Rd etsy shop was also a big leap of faith for me, which challenged me to trust yet again!  It was such a thrill to receive 5 orders within the first 24 hours!  Admittedly, there have been none since then, but I’m grateful to be following my heart, breathing in trust and courage, and giving this dream a chance!

For the first time ever, I feel like I’m finding my calling/voice/etc with art and have a kind of peace mixed with passion that I often envied and wondered about in others!  The peace is challenged by the growth and trust that is part of the process of following a calling.  I suppose that’s the passion part.  It has been quite a challenge for me to share so much on my blog, invest in having my art printed, offer it for sale, and embrace vulnerability.  Hence, these “BRAVE” girl boots I’ve been working on this week.  🙂  These were sparked by a conversation with a friend who needed encouragement and I replied suggesting, “put your brave girl boots on.”  I am doing the same.  Now, a big idea has come into my head and heart that I’m thinking through and hope to share on the blog very soon!  If I knew how to make actual boots to wear, I would make a whole line with the words “brave girl” somewhere on them! 🙂 Instead, at least for now, I’m making them with art supplies. 🙂   And if $$ were no object, maybe I’d buy some boots and alter them to add the words “brave girl” and make them available!  I think a lot of women could use a pair to remind us.  😉  I’ll be keeping my eyes open for boots that might work for physically altering and wearing.  More brave girl (and boy!) boots to come!

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